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John McCain Says Hi

In my inbox earlier today was an email from John McCain. It was sweet of him to think of me when he was so busy what with the looming election in his own country, but John (I figure we're on first name terms if he has my email address) is just that kind of old-fashioned guy.

Here's what the geezer I've come to call the J-Mac had to say:

My Friend,

From the time I entered the Naval Academy at age seventeen I have been privileged and honored to serve my country. Throughout my years of service, I've been faced with challenges where I could have taken the easy way out and given up. But I'm an American and I never give up. Instead, I choose to show courage and stand up and fight for the country I love. Today, I am asking you to stand with me and to fight for our country's future.
Our country faces enormous challenges and our next president must be ready to lead on day one. My lifetime of experience has prepared me to lead our great nation. I'm prepared to bring solutions to our economic challenges, bring our troops home in victory and improve our nation's healthcare system.
Time and time again, my country has saved my life and I owe her more than she has ever owed me. I have chosen to show my gratitude through a life of service to our country and tomorrow, you will have a choice before you.
I humbly ask you to make the choice that will allow me to serve my country a little while longer by casting your vote to elect me as your next President of the United States.
Finally, I ask that you never forget that much has been sacrificed to protect our right to vote. We must never forget those Americans who, with their courage, with their sacrifice, and with their lives, have protected our freedom.
It is my great hope that you will exercise your right to vote as an American tomorrow.
I thank you for your kind support, your dedication to our cause, and most importantly I thank you for your vote.
With sincere appreciation,
John McCain

He's also the kind of old-fashioned guy who doesn't know how to direct an email marketing campaign. Just because I have a dot com email address rather than a dot com au, it doesn't mean that I want to cop this misdirected spam. I wonder if this blanket email will irritate American voters on their way to the polls tomorrow. My favourite touch is the mentions of fighting to protect freedom which clearly doesn't extend to freedom from spam. It's impressive to hear someone talking about fighting for a future when they seem to have such a clumsy grasp of its present technology. Also, leave the "my friend" personalisation for Nigerian money scams - they're professionals.

Still it's better than the American Hunters and Shooters Association (spot the redundancy?) who wanted to tell me that the NRA was selling-out on my right to own as many guns as I damn-well wanted. Oh and that they supported Barack Obama. Good luck with your election day, USA.


  1. "bring our troops home in victory "

    yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaah right.

    LOL my friend.

  2. Sheesh, and who'd have thought this massive email-out wouldn't have worked, huh, Davey?


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